You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
3 2 1 whiskey
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The adults are the big ones right?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
