So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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