Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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