i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
