marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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