He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
