Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
