i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
