I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
