I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Your tits are I can't wait for
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
