Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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