would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
