If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
