Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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