The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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