I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
