So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
