I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
