Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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