so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
