That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
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