Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
