tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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