are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
