And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
