garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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