kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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