The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
