So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
