yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
