have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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