Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
