I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
