IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
