In the future we'll all be gay
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
