why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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