i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
