super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
