Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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