That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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