I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
