I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
