I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
