well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think your dad took our porno
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
