Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
