Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
