Someone shit on the floor
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
