So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
