ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
