ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
